If i come over, it means nothing
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i drank out of a bidet.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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