Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
