party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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