my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
