I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
