this beer tastes like vomit already
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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