I cockslap morals
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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