go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Randomize
