Having a random hookup so left but love u
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
