I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
