You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
