I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize