the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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