I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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