So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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