with your own penis?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
