he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
