Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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