So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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