he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
