I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
