No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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