I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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