butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
