I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
