I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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