Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
