god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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