Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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