So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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