Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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