You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
