the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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