dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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