I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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