Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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