I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
