tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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