I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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