Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
