I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
