I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
