you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize