if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
