your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
