just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
