worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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