Sry I called you an 8
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
