"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
