but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i black out too much to be "responsible"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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