yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
