Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
