I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
