My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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