May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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