this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
