Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
3 2 1 whiskey
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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