Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
