I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
