if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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